We just watched the movie "Rachel Getting Married," and certain parallel events in my own life are egging me on to comment about it and note a few less than desirable qualities about our society.What some people may actually not get who may watch this film, is that the real culprit in the quite realistic story (the familiar setting reminds me a bit of my own) is actually the mother (the character played by Debra Winger), the typical ambitious, success-oriented woman who would rather punch her child in the face than ever admit to the slightest trace of responsibility for any wrongdoing on her behalf.
It's funny that I cannot recall having heard as much as a handful of women sincerely apologize for any mistake they made in my nearly 5 decades on the planet.
Men are usually the culprits, the idiots, who had better apologize.
At least it seems to be much more of a man's thing to do to apologize than it is for women, in my experience. It's somewhat hard to picture a woman in the act of "repenting."
Maybe I'm just biased due to experiences with a mother who has never been able to admit to any mistake or wrongdoing on her behalf, either.
Or a sister very much like Rachel, the bride in the movie... ever jealously fighting, scheming and manipulating for Dad's attention and affection, lest he should ever spare one drop of sympathy for the black sheep of the family...
People need a scapegoat. Someone to blame their troubles on. Someone they don't have to be as nice to as to all the others. Someone they won't have to applaud for after they dare to speak up and say their share in an embarrassing, way too honest wedding toast. Someone they can all heave a sigh of relief and be happy when they're gone again, safely tucked away where they belong, in some institution, clinic or prison where people "like that" are being dealt with.
Anything but let them get close to reminding the rest of them of their own share in the responsibility and that they're not completely blameless, either.
Perhaps even less so than the actual "culprit".
In the movie, it was definitely the mother who was more responsible for the death of her young son by leaving her in the charge of a daughter she knew was a drug addict, than the daughter herself.
Success people take whatever comes in convenient. Even an addict for a baby sitter. But they never deal with the consequences. Let the other ones be the culprit. They'd gladly sacrifice their own flesh and blood on the altar of success, as long as they can still flash that radiant smile of a "winner" into the mirror every morning.



